A Gangster Interpretation of Romeo & Juliet
by TheAmericanWeasley
Summary: A modern-faux gangster interpretation of Romeo & Juliet: Act II, Scene IIII. Originally written for an English assignment.


Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Shakespeare's masterpiece _Romeo & Juliet_. You don't really need me to tell you that, right?

Warning: This little story is a parody, purely for the sake of humor and theatrical and/or reading entertainment. If you are offended by such things, turn back now.

Notes: This was originally written in script form for a school assignment. A group of my friends and I were instructed to recreate a scene from _Romeo & Juliet_, and we were told that we could perform it straightforward Shakespearean style, or we could have fun with it. We decided to go with a latter. I'm happy to say that we earned an A+ for this assignment, so I decided to post it here. Since the website forbids stories in script form, I rewrote it in regular story form.

While writing this, my friends and I somewhat envisioned imitation gangsters, as opposed to really hardcore gangsters—but still "ghetto" nonetheless. Anyway, enough of my monologue, please enjoy!

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_**A Gangster Interpretation of Romeo & Juliet:**_

_**Act II, Scene IIII**_

a _Romeo & Juliet_ fan fiction

by TheAmericanWeasley

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_We set our stage here, in the streets of fair Verona, where young Benvolio and Mercutio are discussing their homeboy Romeo…_

"Where the hell is Romeo?" Mercutio asked, squinting at Benvolio. They had not seen their friend in quite some time, and it was concerning them. No doubt he was off moaning about that Rosaline again. "Did he crash at your place last night?"

"No," Benvolio shook his head, equally discouraged, "and he ain't with his Pops either, I even went by this morning to ask him." As he spoke, Benvolio looked over the deserted parking lot in which they were loitering, as if expecting his cousin to appear from literally nowhere.

"I love Romeo," Mercutio began, staring at the ground with heavy eyes, "I really do. But that chick Rosaline—she's driving him crazy! I bet he's off stalking her now, that crazy fool. That Rosaline is like a witch, and she's got him under a spell. She could shoot him dead and he wouldn't care!"

Nodding in agreement, Benvolio adjusted his bandanna with a bold '**M**' on the front. "Romeo better watch his back struttin' in these streets. If he runs into Tybalt—"

"I can hear them now," Mercutio interrupted, growing excited at the mention of the Capulet. The young man held his arms out in a faux aggressive manner. "They'll be like 'Come at me, bro'. That Tybalt makes me sick—he thinks he has swag!"

As the two laughed at the imagery, Romeo Montague emerged from an alleyway and stepped into the parking lot, waving gleefully when he spotted his two friends.

"Yo, here he comes our boy Romeo now," Benvolio said, nudging Mercutio in the shoulder.

As Romeo approached, he gave an elongated "Heyyyy" and bumped shoulders with Benvolio. Mercutio, however, was not as welcoming.

"Before we start the chit-chat," Mercutio said, holding up a hand, "you've got some explaining to do."

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Mercutio?" Romeo replied, quirking his eyebrows in confusion.

Crossing his arms, Mercutio continued, "Where have you been? We were gonna hit up the club last night and get some girls."

"But we couldn't find you anywhere!" Benvolio chimed in, equally curious as to the recent whereabouts of his love-burdened cousin.

At that moment, Romeo grinned—the kind of grin that held secrets. "Trust me boys, I had much better things to be doing than hitting up the club."

"Care to share with us?" Mercutio inquired.

"A decent homie won't stick his nose in my business," Romeo boldly stated, his secretiveness becoming apparent.

Benvolio took a small step back from the two, sensing an approaching argument.

"Well, I guess I ain't no decent homie, then," Mercutio said, moving his face closer to Romeo's and staring intensely at him, "I think you need to be reminded on who's the funniest, most swag dude in this group."

"And_ I_ think _you _need a breath mint," Romeo jokingly responded. When he noticed the steady darkening of Mercutio's eyes, he quickly added, "I was just kidding, man."

"Mercutio," Benvolio rushed to the rescue, holding his friend by the shoulders. "Romeo's right, must you pry? Chill, a'ight?"

"There's something wrong with our little Romeo, ain't I right?" Mercutio continued despite Benvolio's efforts, and shook free of his grip.

Romeo rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Well…"

"What's the matter, atomies got your tongue?"

"That's enough, Mercutio," said Benvolio. "Leave Romeo alone. If he doesn't wanna talk, he shouldn't have to."

Ignoring Benvolio, Mercutio delved into an exaggerated imitation of Romeo: "You are some kind of love-sick creature, you know that, Romeo? 'Oh Rosaline, dear Rosaline, why don't you ever listen to the mix CDs I make you? Why don't you answer any of my texts? Why won't you accept my friend request on Facebook?'"

At loss for a good comeback, Romeo licked his lips and said, "You know I ain't on Facebook no more, the timeline sucks anyway."

As Mercutio was about to respond, several footsteps were heard in the quiet background, and from another alleyway appeared a large woman in conservative clothing, loyally followed by a male.

Spotting her, Mercutio's attention turned from Romeo onto the odd couple. He chuckled and said, "Ah…now here's a sight to see."

"Oh, now don't go messin' with her," Benvolio defended the strangers. "That's just a little lady with her…boyfriend? They're just trying to make their way through the streets…they look lost, poor things."

"That's not my problem. They shouldn't have stepped on my turf. Now, let's have some fun with them." Mercutio began to walk toward the two, a mischievous grin teasing the ends of his mouth.

"Oh Peter, it must be a hundred degrees today," the large woman mused, fanning herself, "give me my fan."

The male called Peter produced a folded fan from his pocket, which he unfolded and handed to the woman. He was quiet and stared with wide eyes as he noticed Mercutio approaching. Romeo and Benvolio remained where they originally were, watching and listening to the spectacle from a short distance.

"Might I suggest you wear that fan in front of your face all the time?" said Mercutio, already laughing.

"What are you talking about, young man?" the woman replied.

"I mean that the fan is much finer than the face it hides!"

"Oh, well…" the woman stood with her mouth open, obviously shocked by such rude behavior. "Good day to you too, young man."

"It was good before y'all showed up."

"Peter!" the woman said, nudging her male companion in the ribs. "Say something, I'm being harassed!"

Romeo, summoning the most courteous voice his hoodlum tongue could muster, ran toward the crowd of three, Benvolio right behind him. "Excuse me," Romeo said, "forgive my friend, he ain't got no manners."

The woman straightened up and addressed Romeo, "No matter."

"She's been called worse," Peter said from behind her. "Forgive me for saying so, Nurse."

"Oh, shut up, Peter!" the woman, who was apparently addressed as 'Nurse' said, nudging her servant in the ribs again. Turning back to Romeo, she inquired, "Would you know where I might find a boy called Romeo Montague? I need to speak privately with him."

"This is Romeo!" said Mercutio, pointing at his friend, "But be careful lady, he's already in love with some trick!"

"Mercutio," Benvolio found his voice again, and grabbed his companion by the arm. "You need to zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket. Let's take a walk to the corner store." He began to walk away, tugging Mercutio along. "See you later, Romeo!"

"Unless you find yourself caught up in those gorgeous wrinkles!" Mercutio added, smirking at Romeo and Nurse. Shaking his head, Benvolio pulled Mercutio around a corner, and they were gone.

When it was finally silent, Nurse turned to Romeo. "You certainly have interesting friends."

"Mercutio means no harm," Romeo weakly defended his friend. "He acts like a foo' sometimes, but he's a'ight with me. Anyways, why have y'all come to see me? This place obviously ain't where you belong."

"I have come to discuss my lady, Juliet Capulet," she began, noticing Romeo's eyes brighten at the mention of her. "I want to know your intentions…because if you are leading her on—"

"I ain't," Romeo assured, then corrected himself, "I mean, I'm not. I love her, and I intend to marry her. Tell her to meet me at the cell of Friar Laurence. I will marry her there."

Nurse seemed thoroughly surprised, but satisfied at Romeo's response. Muffling her own excitement, Nurse replied, "I'm sure Juliet will be pleased. Now, come along Peter." She nodded to Romeo, then shuffled along down the alleyway from which she had come, Peter right her.

Alone, Romeo signed to himself in satisfaction. On his head was a bandanna, that, like Benvolio's, read the letter '**M**' boldly and proudly, a symbol of the house of Montague. He reached up and removed it, folding it in his hands.

Upon his marriage to Juliet, he would be forever joined with the house of Capulet. It was both amazing and frightening.

Pressing the folded bandanna to his lips, the ill-fated Romeo muttered: "Thank you, stars."


End file.
